Category Archives: growth

May 29

To seek or not to seek

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Maybe I pass this place at least 3 times a week, and each time I have a slight urge and curiosity to venture inside to find out how good this psychic might be can this person have all the answers to my questions?

I ask myself what is it that I would like to hear from this person who claims to see and know the unseen and unknown?

Then I start to think about all the things I would like to know at the moment:

I will eventually do something with my life where I feel a tad bit of satisfaction, that will last more than the moment.

Is this whole pursuit of following my dreams all in vain?

Oh yeah whats going to happen in my love life will I eventually fall in love and will it be the type of love that is mutual and will we be brave enough to stay together through life’s difficult challenges?

Will my son, grow up to resent me for not being with him and his father here in Alabama, for choosing to let his father raise him? Will he ever understand that I do not love his father, I never loved his father? Will he know that despite the choices I have made by choosing to let him live with his father because it was in his best intrest I do love him with all of my God…Will I ever make peace with the choices that I have made when it comes to my son?

I can see myself saying “Sorry Mr. Or Mrs. Psychic, for all the questions, but can you tell me what is the purpose of traveling all over the world for so many years, away from my family and all that was familiar to me, gaining a new outlook on people, religion, spirituality, politics basically my entire outlook on LIFE has changed, I’ve been transformed in so many ways and now that I have returned I’m not quite sure what to do with myself and this person I have become, can you give me some advice?

Then the psychic would say to me,”I’m not a therapist dear, but I do have a cousin who lives two houses down who is; maybe she can help you in that area of your life, but I can tell you that when you die none of these concerns or questions will matter anymore”.

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I have a deep concern, that if I don’t eventually do something with myself and start giving back to the world, I will eventually morph into a walking dead citizen of the world who wakes up every day goes off to a job that has no meaning besides enslaving her to earning just enough to feed herself, pay the bills, and keep a roof over her head, living from pay check to pay check. Life would eventually loose meaning. I will no longer do the things that bring joy to my life like traveling to new places, meeting new people, enjoying the company of friends and family and a life partner. God will simply become an extraterrestrial being up beyond the big blue sky and I will only seek God on that one special day set aside during the week, or when i’m only in need of some material substance. I’m afraid I will gain that life of routine that surrounds me.

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I admit that I do desire to have all the things that bring joy to my heart!!! Love, Family, lots of travels, romance, most of all I desire to make a difference in this world by helping others, I would love a home to return to after being abroad, I desire to get the most out of life while i’m here living, I yearn to always to continue to grow spiritually and consciously be in the presence of God day in and day out. I desire a career that brings joy and satifaction.

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Not knowing is driving me nuts not being sure about anything right now in my life is making me gaze off into the direction of a person claiming to know, but know what?

Can a psychic bring that assurance?   I don’t doubt the works that a psychic can do, shit I’m not even sure of the works that a psychic can perform, but I’m sure if I continue put in the physical, mental, and spiritual works I will be able to find all the answers without the help of a psychic, when I take the time to reflect truly reflect on my past and bring myself into the NOW, I gain clarity and I can see the works that the Lord has performed in my life and as God is my witness.    all i need is just a little bit of faith as small as a mustard seed, and I’m assured that the only psychic I need is the Lord.

All will be just fine and nothing is in vain.
;-)

Apr 2

Had to share

I received a beautiful card last night from a dear friend and I absolutely loved the words.

Life’s Pathway
AN INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGE BY EMILY MATTHEWS

At times, life’s path
Seems filled with things
That make the going rough,
And we wish there were a smoother road,
For we feel we’ve had enough…
But if we pause a moment and remember Who’s in charge,
The hills that loom ahead of us
No longer seem so large,
And every rock before us,
When we know we’re not alone,
Becomes, not just a stumbling block,
But ne more stepping stone.

Emily Matthews

Feb 11

Love teach me

I asked Love to be my teacher

I had no idea that I would be thrown down a rabbit hole and completely transformed.

I’ve learned
    
      to have without ownship,

      to let go when hanging off the edge of the cliff and having faith that i will survive the drop and enjoy the swim
    
      to be selfish  and to give

       to accept the pain just as I would accept the pleasure

     as much as things may seem complex we’re all connected and come from that same Divine Seed.

   to let go of what i think i know and go with the flow

     be thankful at the end of each day     

     to cry and let it out

     to breathe deep with awarness and follow my dreams

… Most importantly to laugh and not take life so serious!

We all have the right to be who we are! We all have that light that is Divine inside so let it shine.

Nov 15

Love you can visit any time.

LOVE decides to visit you without asking for your permission, but when does LOVE ever ask if you would like to have IT for a visit? Its like that friend/family member that usually just shows up and expects you to open your doors and take them in even if you don’t feel like having company or entertaining anyone. Love just comes on in and makes itself at home, actually taking over changing things around without your permission, and when you want to say something or intervene in LOVE’S activity in your house you feel intimidated and lost for words or somehow LOVE convinces you that what it has done is perfectly alright and tells you not to worry and feeds you some its potion that it cooked up in your kitchen and it taste really good so you eat and feel at ease; and all those worries and concerns you have about LOVE taking over in your house cease.  Then it gets to the point where you stop worrying about LOVE being in your house taking over  things like it has co-ownership you even start saying to LOVE “ whats mine is yours so feel at home”. You get accustomed to LOVE you are entertained by LOVE and you start to enjoy how LOVE has made your house look and feel, you like how different things have become. You find yourself at one with LOVE.

Then one day you wake up and LOVE has decided to pack up all its belonging and you find your house empty. All the things you had before LOVE came to visit are either old and don’t feel right or were thrown out in the trash by LOVE because it didn’t fit with the change that LOVE made.

So  LOVE has left, to continue on its journey like the nomad it is. You feel lost, empty, sad, and not sure what to do.  So you find yourself making phone calls to people who knew LOVE and who knows LOVE, they tell you either they have seen LOVE or not, but they are not much of help. You may even get in contact with LOVE and plead for it to come back home, or ask why did it leave and it responds in a way that you can’t comprehend.

You start to saying all kinds of things to yourself

  1. “ LOVE only used me, to get what it wanted”
  2. “LOVE never cared about me, LOVE don’t love nobody but itself”
  3. “ I should have told LOVE to leave when it first came to visit”
  4. “How can LOVE be so cruel? Was that even LOVE or an impersonator? “
  5. “I will never let LOVE come to my house again how could I be such a fool”
  6. “ LOVE is too expensive, now I got to start all over again it threw away all my old things and then packed up and left me empty”

You go through all kinds of emotions.  You feel sick, sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, numb, and foreign to yourself, you might not even know who you are anymore, you gain weight loose weight morph into an alien.

As time passes by and the tears start to dry, you find yourself redecorating your home again things are starting to look and feel nice.  You start to feel at home in your house you start to remember the good times you had with LOVE and you feel privileged to have experienced the time spent with LOVE and you are thankful that LOVE came and cleared out the old stuff and changed things around.

One day the phone rings its LOVE on the line. The connection sounds clear and you want to tell LOVE you can now comprehend why it had to leave.

LOVE: How are you doing?

YOU: I’m doing fine, how about you?

Love: Lovely as always

YOU: Its been a while

LOVE: Yes, I’m in town and I was wondering if it was ok if I came by?

YOU:  Sure you’re always welcomed in my house.

By Bright Light Warrior Nika

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This story was inspired by:

Oct 22

The Warrior thinks: ‘Changes must be made that I do not feel like making.’

I thought I had read all the pages in Manual of the Warrior of Light, but today I randomly opened the Manual up to the below entry. Like I stated a while back I always randomly open the Manual because I believe in magic and that the Universe speaks to us in mysterious ways so whatever I randomly open it up to is what I am suppose to be reading at that particular time.

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If you would like to read more from the manual check this site out CLICK

The Warrior of light is now waking from his dream.

He Thinks: ‘I do not know how to deal with this light that is making me grow.’ The light, however doers not disappear.


The warrior thinks: ‘Changes must be made that I do not feel like making.’

The light remains, because ‘feel’ is a word full of traps.

Then the eyes and heart of the warrior begin to grow  accustomed to the light. It no longer frightens him and he finally accepts his own legend, even if this means running risk.

The warrior has been asleep for a long time. It is only natural that he should wake up very gradually.

Sep 23

Your not my enemy

Mishal Moore wrote on her twitter yesterday ” If you can’t be happy for other people’s accomplishments…you’ll ALWAYS fall short of what YOU are trying to accomplish. Bitterness is Not becoming”.

Very true and mind stimulating  statement Mishal Moore. Got me looking inside to see where I stand when it comes to my feelings about the accomplishments/happiness of my enemies or maybe someone who is not on my A list. I asked myself would I be able to be happy for them to smile at their joy?

Then this got me to asking myself deeper questions, who are my enemies who is not on my A list and why are they not on my A list?If someone is not on my A list then I must be holding some type of  grudge, animosity,  something negative I must be holding on to. If I am holding on to negative energy I know this has to be corrected and changed ASAP we know bitterness is a sickness.

I know in my mind and heart that people are people and  beneath all the spiderwebs that accumulate in the mind and heart we are genuinely good, kind, caring, and loving people so I must always try to find that positive characteristic in all and myself.

So after I have thought about the people that I considered to be an enemy or not on my A list and why I consider them to be an enemy or not an A list person I ask what happened between that persona and myself. I look for forgiveness in the situation with that person, then  I picture them happy and me being happy for them and wishing them the best in life and if  I can’t seem to picture or feel the joy for the person, I then picture myself happy and achieving the best for myself and what it feels like when I am filled with that joy then I say to myself;  “why wouldn’t I want or be happy for  someone else to feel this God given gift?” Then I find love inside and wish the best for them and happiness for them. I am then able to be happy for that person and their joy and wish them the best in life.

Awwwe clearing …..

Sep 22

Its about going through the fire and testifying about it.

“I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.”

I read this quote this morning on Bear

It got me to thinking don’t have anything else to do but think ;) . I asked myself  is this statement true? Does it take a life to learn how to live? I’m 30 going on 31 and sometimes I feel like I don’t know a damn thing about living, but I just keep on at it (LOL). Seems like I’m always learning something new when it comes to life and I must say life aint easy but someone has to live it.  I read recently on Paulo Coelho’s  twitter “If you lose, don’t lose the lesson”.  I pray that I learn the most vital lessons that present themselves as I live. Which leads to another question (giggle) If I kept losing the lessons what would my life be worth? Would it be so bad? My answer was no as long as I never gave up I guess the moment you give up you lose the lesson. Right? Umm its too early for all of this? Maybe another cup of coffee.

Last night this handsome young man around 60 or late 50′s asked me out on a date, I was very flattered he was very persistent I’m actually thinking about going :) Not sure if I will blog about it if I decide to go or not, but he was just too cute I had to take his number just encase curiosity starts to scratch at my brain.

Whats sweet about life is even though I have put myself through so many fires  feeling the pain (the burn) as I take risk at life I always manages to heal beautiful looking and functioning like a brand new state of the art android “I am an alien from outer space”!! So even though a part of me might be afraid of getting burned by the fire I’m still willing to take that risk and live life to the fullest being molded over and over constantly transforming into a beautiful work of ART. Its about going through the fire and testifying about it.

still smiling

still smiling

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