She knew from the very first time she fell in Love with him at the age of 15 that she would have many Loves to come and many nights of solitude to reflect. 15 years later she is wondering if there would be One Love that would make her want to change the direction of her life and do things different…
photo via obliterated
LOVE decides to visit you without asking for your permission, but when does LOVE ever ask if you would like to have IT for a visit? Its like that friend/family member that usually just shows up and expects you to open your doors and take them in even if you don’t feel like having company or entertaining anyone. Love just comes on in and makes itself at home, actually taking over changing things around without your permission, and when you want to say something or intervene in LOVE’S activity in your house you feel intimidated and lost for words or somehow LOVE convinces you that what it has done is perfectly alright and tells you not to worry and feeds you some its potion that it cooked up in your kitchen and it taste really good so you eat and feel at ease; and all those worries and concerns you have about LOVE taking over in your house cease. Then it gets to the point where you stop worrying about LOVE being in your house taking over things like it has co-ownership you even start saying to LOVE “ whats mine is yours so feel at home”. You get accustomed to LOVE you are entertained by LOVE and you start to enjoy how LOVE has made your house look and feel, you like how different things have become. You find yourself at one with LOVE.
Then one day you wake up and LOVE has decided to pack up all its belonging and you find your house empty. All the things you had before LOVE came to visit are either old and don’t feel right or were thrown out in the trash by LOVE because it didn’t fit with the change that LOVE made.
So LOVE has left, to continue on its journey like the nomad it is. You feel lost, empty, sad, and not sure what to do. So you find yourself making phone calls to people who knew LOVE and who knows LOVE, they tell you either they have seen LOVE or not, but they are not much of help. You may even get in contact with LOVE and plead for it to come back home, or ask why did it leave and it responds in a way that you can’t comprehend.
You start to saying all kinds of things to yourself
- “ LOVE only used me, to get what it wanted”
- “LOVE never cared about me, LOVE don’t love nobody but itself”
- “ I should have told LOVE to leave when it first came to visit”
- “How can LOVE be so cruel? Was that even LOVE or an impersonator? “
- “I will never let LOVE come to my house again how could I be such a fool”
- “ LOVE is too expensive, now I got to start all over again it threw away all my old things and then packed up and left me empty”
You go through all kinds of emotions. You feel sick, sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, numb, and foreign to yourself, you might not even know who you are anymore, you gain weight loose weight morph into an alien.
As time passes by and the tears start to dry, you find yourself redecorating your home again things are starting to look and feel nice. You start to feel at home in your house you start to remember the good times you had with LOVE and you feel privileged to have experienced the time spent with LOVE and you are thankful that LOVE came and cleared out the old stuff and changed things around.
One day the phone rings its LOVE on the line. The connection sounds clear and you want to tell LOVE you can now comprehend why it had to leave.
LOVE: How are you doing?
YOU: I’m doing fine, how about you?
Love: Lovely as always
YOU: Its been a while
LOVE: Yes, I’m in town and I was wondering if it was ok if I came by?
YOU: Sure you’re always welcomed in my house.
By Bright Light Warrior Nika
This story was inspired by:
I thought I had read all the pages in Manual of the Warrior of Light, but today I randomly opened the Manual up to the below entry. Like I stated a while back I always randomly open the Manual because I believe in magic and that the Universe speaks to us in mysterious ways so whatever I randomly open it up to is what I am suppose to be reading at that particular time.
If you would like to read more from the manual check this site out CLICK
The Warrior of light is now waking from his dream.
He Thinks: ‘I do not know how to deal with this light that is making me grow.’ The light, however doers not disappear.
The warrior thinks: ‘Changes must be made that I do not feel like making.’
The light remains, because ‘feel’ is a word full of traps.
Then the eyes and heart of the warrior begin to grow accustomed to the light. It no longer frightens him and he finally accepts his own legend, even if this means running risk.
The warrior has been asleep for a long time. It is only natural that he should wake up very gradually.
Its the first day of September and I’m so thankful for August. I just wanted to take this time to say thank you to August for being so kind and gentle to me. If you where a person I would go to your house and deliver some baked goodies or hug you and let you know how much I appreciate your kindness that you showered on me.
You soothed my heart that was split into two, slowly mending it back together with your warm, tender words that blew in the hot wind. Your heat cleansed me as I sweat out all impurities, I could feel the change that was occurring around me and inside of me as the days passed you transformed me as you transformed into September. Your days passed by fast, but at the same time you worked slowly during the night as you did your part in helping me heal on your 31 day visit. I appreciate those warm nights out at the pool as i floated in the water looking up into the star lit sky and you talked to me caressing my skin with your warm breathe, those nights you held me close even though it seem so hot and at times unbearable and I had to kick the covers off, but you wouldn’t let me go, letting me know that I’m not alone out here in this huge small world.
The motivation you gave me to take care of myself, cook, clean, laugh, dance, and smile, finding the joy in life again, appreciating family and friends.
Last night you told me that you had to go, and I said no, but you explained this is the way of life and like all months you will return. So I tightened up my huggies and said see you soon, for there are never any goodbyes.
August I love you
Last night I sat in my bed with my thoughts I didn’t want to listen to any music, I didn’t want to blog, I didn’t want to surf the internet, or watch tv, I sat in my room lit some candles and let my feelings surface, the feelings that I suppressed during the day because I felt it was not the right time or place to acknowledge them, but I let them know that I will get back to them ASAP because I know its not good to suppress anything that is trying to be free. So there I was in my candle lit room on the bed, then standing, tears falling, in the bathroom, back in the middle of my room then my soul felt it was ready to speak to God I was in the room but not there speaking to God then I fell asleep, waking up this morning feeling sensitive, driving to work in silence. When I arrived to work I put on Omara Portuondo and listened to the song below in Spanish. Which led me to this scripture from ~~~ James1:2-4
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”.
Solamente una vez
Amé en la vida
Solamente una vez
Y nada más
Una vez nada más
En mi huerto
Brilló la esperanza
La esperanza que alumbra el camino
De mi soledad
Una vez nada más
Se entrega el alma
Con la dulce y total
Y cuando ese milagro realiza
El prodigio de amarse
Hay campanas de fiesta
Que cantan en el corazón