Category Archives: battles

The Warrior within

The Warrior within

Yesterday’s battle was tricky, but suprising.

Yesterday I had a battle, an all too familiar battle that started in the morning. I seem to have the upper hand in the battle during the daylight hours, but as the night slowly crept in, I felt my strength weakening.  I knew this meant I would have to do some serious praying, but I felt myself making old moves that I knew would not work against my opponent, I knew they  didn’t work because they never worked in the past.

The night set in and the cold wind covered my skin.  I tried to prepare for rest, but my heart remained restless, and my mind would not quiet down. I knew that it was a sign that I shouldn’t put my defenses down, but I was tired so I ignored my mind and heart.  Then I was hit, I was hit hard and I felt myself falling down and splashing into the water! I thought maybe I should call an ally, maybe he could give me words of comfort, or maybe read some inspirational words, but none of those could help me as I splashed around in my sea of tears. I panicked as I kept splashing and going under. Then I kept getting a vision of the two floatation devices that I always kept on me; my pen that was my paddle and paper that was my boat.

I knew they would help me get thru the night, but the thought of writing my feelings down seemed like it would take so much energy, and time, but I couldn’t stand the thought of this repetitive act, of me always falling into the same abyss and waiting to be saved by someone.

I pulled out my floatation devices and started writing my feelings out.  I woke up this morning and saw the sun and smiled.

 

This morning after reading the post and the comments on Paulo Coelho’s blog Another wrong stepit makes me think about his quote

“The Warrior of Light knows that no man is an island.”
(Manual of the Warrior of Light)

Yesterday there were many WOL out on the field together fighting The Good Fight!

 

Trying to understand this battle

Trying to understand this battle

The other day while driving home from watching the USA vs Ghana game I was feeling a little sad that US had lost, but I must admit Ghana played a great game and awesome defense.

On the drive home I got to thinking about a battle I have been fight and then I started thinking about
what Paulo Coelho had wrote on his twitter some days ago; it was something along the lines of Winning and loosing and how some only like to win because they don’t understand the significance in loosing (something along the lines of this)! found it! this was Paulo Coelho original tweet that kept echoing in my head “Winning is for those who are not interested in the virtues of losing” Then I realized that I’m ready to loose this fight I have been fighting for the past 4.5yrs. I said out to the Universe I am done fighting this battle, I don’t even know why I have been holding on to this battle for so long! I’m done! The tears rolled down my eyes as I looked out the car window into the star lit sky. I felt better as each tear rolled off my face,I felt the heavy weights lifted from off of my shoulders.

No I’m not a quitter but I do realize that there are battles that are not worth my energy and I have to just throw in the towel and walk away and then there are battles to loose to teach me that loosing is not bad, and show me my strengths as well as my weakness, and at the end of the day my joy will still be here. It also felt good to say to my opponent; “you win”.

So I woke up the next day and I realized that my opponent wasn’t finished with me yet. I was like “what do you want”? “I’m done fighting, I just want peace with you”. And then my opponent said to me, “I’m not your enemy, I’m here to teach you something very important so listen and learn.”

Any who I’ve realized two things not every situation that appears in my life that seems to go against the current of the river doesn’t mean its against me.

Losing a battle doesn’t mean its the end of the world some battles are not meant to be won,  only to improve my skills with the sword. (wax on wax off! 4.5yrs of it sighhhhh) LOL :P